or simply holding space for a colleague to resolve their issues. They can also say no when appropriate. Challengers can continue to maintain high standards but change their communication style to ask questions, offer constructive rather than harmful feedback, and encourage others to think differently. This approach motivates and uplifts, giving others a chance to reflect and grow. 4. Take a critical step back and recognise your response to conflict. Consider the alternatives available to shift the dynamic from drama and excuses to solutions. Think differently and deeply to challenge accepted narratives. 5. Stay in adult mode. Recognise your responsibility and accountability and what goes with your role and communicate effectively. We are often encouraged and drawn to convenience and the easy way out these days. Recognise responsibility and where to draw the line in supporting people. 6. Use calm, non-blaming language And focus on empathy, clarity and understanding to harmoniously shift conversations away from blame and towards practical solutions. 7. Review the options for solutions. Understand the expectations and experience of everyone involved. Do you need to gather more information? What do you need to do to look after yourself whilst you are in the midst of the drama? Sometimes people become very entrenched in their roles and resist moving beyond the drama triangle, especially if their roles have not been self-identified. Ask someone to help you with this, such as a coach. Leaders 8. If you notice a ‘drama’ playing out in your team, the first thing is not to join in. Aim to remain independent and in a calm state. See who else is being dragged into the drama triangle. Ensure you have a broad perspective on the issue. Encourage them not to escalate but to find their own solutions with support and to be self-determining. 9. Have a resolutionary framework Or processes in place that empowers colleagues to explore issues early, before they get stuck in specific roles and conflict. 10. Build a healthy culture Of good communication, open dialogue and deep listening. A victim mentality, for example, can get embedded into a culture very quickly. Ultimately, tension is defused by creating psychological safety within the workplace, where people feel supported rather than attacked.
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